ABSTRACT
In her teens, the author eventually joined the ballet studio, and the instructor never bothered to learn her name; he called her a “telephone pole.” She explains that her first time was cold in every sense of the word; she felt uncomfortably exposed, prepubescent, stiff, and mechanical. She experienced no cataclysmic outpour of intimacy or devotion. In the summer of 2016, she learned that her boyfriend was a serial rapist and his crimes have not only escalated in frequency, but in severity. want to Sh wants to live courageously, to live in honor of the love Greg offered her so fully and unquestionably. She is unsurprised that the forces of racism, homophobia, and transphobia conspire to erect far more robust towers for many. She shares this story in the wake of the nation’s institutions responsible for rendering “justice,” routinely invalidating the painful testimonies of those before her, allowing attackers to remain in power through a claim to ultimate victimhood.
