ABSTRACT
Sustaining desire in the long haul requires the reconciliation of two opposing human needs: our need for security and stability, and our quest for passion and adventure. These two opposing forces of freedom and commitment are difficult to merge in modern marriage. On the one hand, psychoanalysts seek a steady and reliable anchor in our partner. On the other, psychoanalysts expect love to offer transcendent experiences, allowing us to soar beyond the mundane and ordinary. Our earliest interactions with our environment and our carers are dominated by bodily sensations. The body serves as a memory bank of our sensual pleasures of the skin, in infancy and throughout our lives. The relationship between intimacy and sexuality is complex and therapists have long tried to elucidate the Gordian knot of intimacy and sexuality. Emotional intimacy and talk intimacy are not the same as erotic intimacy, which deserves and needs to be addressed separately, and worked with directly in order to create change.
