ABSTRACT
Once upon a time there was a derelict ship which drifted into the empty parts of the southern ocean and began to run out of provisions. Most of the crew took each day as it came, but there were two exceptions: one was a professional pessimist, the other was a professional optimist. The professional pessimist pointed out continually how low the stock of food was becoming and how seldom ships were encountered in such latitudes. He advised his comrades to meditate on their latter end and to prepare for death with fortitude. One day they turned on him and advised him to prepare for death with fortitude himself during the five minutes of life that they were prepared to leave him. When he had been heaved overboard, they gave a sigh of relief.
