ABSTRACT
There are several interlocking elements in this emerging discourse. In the first place, the use of the term suggests a strong perceived need to appropriate the sort of values and comforts that the family is supposed to embody, even if it regularly fails to do so: continuity over time, emotional and material support, ongoing commitment, and intense engagement. For many others, friendship circles are spoken of as being equivalent to the idealised family (and infinitely preferable to the real one). We can hear this in some characteristic comments on friends as family (see Weeks et al. 2001: chapter 1): ‘a feeling of belonging to a group of people who like me’ (Simon, a gay man aged 32); ‘affection, love if you like – you share the good things, and you share the bad things too’ (Dan, aged 71); ‘I think the friendships I have are family’ (Rachel, a 32-year-old lesbian). These may not be everyone’s definition of the ideal family; nor are they anywhere near the legal definition
of kin, but the words carry intense conviction among those who have chosen to organise their relationships around new forms of commitment.
