The cultural ideal of the joint decision

In this chapter the cultural notion of a ‘joint decision’ ¹ is our entry point to study the social meaning of children. We will explore the broad cultural consensus that the ‘child choice’ – that is, whether to have children, when to have children and how many children to have – is a set of decisions that a couple should ideally agree on. Agreeing to have a child is a process in which two individuals negotiate ideas about individual life courses as well as their vision of a future together as parents. In this text we will analyse the concept of the joint decision as an ideal – that is, what people regard as right and desirable. We will then analyse this ideal as a cultural unit, following the theory of anthropologist David Schneider (1980). Our aim is to explore the ideas and values that are set into motion through discussion of the ideal of the joint decision, particularly with reference to autonomy and relationship, both of which are affected by the decision to have a child.