Summer, pain and shame
By the end of May, my home leave was being increased again. I wanted the Section to be removed. I had had 18 ECT treatments in the last two months. I was still very unwell, weepy and ‘down’, with a tremendous sense of guilt and dogged by unremitting thoughts of suicide. I was angry at life and although I didn’t know how I was going to cope, I knew that I had to test my capabilities. ‘I just want to go home and be okay.’ The medical team agreed.