chapter  24
8 Pages

Light at the end of the tunnel

ByCathy Wield, Keith Matthews, Chris Thompson

It was now eight days after the operation. My physical recovery from the surgery was going well. The facial swelling had gone down. I no longer had a fever or headache. However, I had lost my appetite and felt nauseous. Psychologically I felt terrible. I remember making a decision that as soon as I was transferred back to Southampton I would definitely find a way to escape from hospital to go and kill myself. I knew that I could not break out from this ward and even if I did, I would not know where to go. At this time I very much regretted that I had agreed to have the surgery, I thought that I had made a big mistake – although why I thought this I do not know, as I still firmly held the belief that I had now ‘tried everything’. I no longer felt any obligation to wait for the possibility of improvement. My impatience to get back home was growing.