ABSTRACT
This chapter discusses sources of conflict that are inherent in intimate relationships. In Western societies, the lifetime probability of divorce has increased substantially from that in previous generations, reflecting changes in relational expectations and alternatives to traditional marriage. Constructive engagement behaviours reflect positivity and problem solving. These include attending and listening to the partner, giving support and acceptance, and providing and soliciting disclosure. Attachment anxiety is linked to more frequent conflict and to perceiving partners' negative behaviour as intentional and stable. Anxious individuals' egocentric stance leads those to try to dominate the partner and get their own needs met. Emotionally focused therapy highlights the importance and the dyadic nature of couple bonds. Emotionally focused therapy focuses on clarifying and de-escalating destructive conflict patterns such as attack-withdraw, helping partners to see how these patterns fuel hurt, fear and isolation. Conflict behaviours are critical to relationship functioning. Further, attachment insecurities are exacerbated in stressful situations, including couple conflict and relational transitions.
