ABSTRACT
W e l l , why cou ldn ' t she do that? Because every t ime she came up to M o m and Dad and said, "I don' t want to go to church tonight, I want to watch Ko j a c , " she learned the roles that were acceptable to her and the ones that weren't. N o w those roles then del imit the degree of commun i ca t i on she can make. So she learned to play the subservient, v ic t im role, but not any assertive roles. The same gir l , by the way, t ipped a plate of spaghetti onto one of our d in ing room chairs and said, " O h , I a lways do that . " So keep that in m ind . The kind of communica t ions that she can make and can get away with determine the k ind of belief system she formulates, i.e., " I 'm the kind of person w h o always spills something and makes a horr ible mess . " A n d once she's formulated those belief systems, then the unconsc ious resources to the contrary won ' t ever pop up, or if they do they are considered a conf l ict and she goes for therapy.
