ABSTRACT
But there are feelings like that that this fe l low isn't having. So he can compete , but he is apologet ic about it. A n d he feels scared about i t-his vo ice quivers when he talks about it. You cou ld hear that when he spoke, right? So the attitude goal is that it is okay to live up to his o w n standards and not those of others. The feel ing goal is having that k ind of smugness or being right or having ownersh ip for his o w n ideas, so that he might say, "That idea is mine, I wou ld rather do it my own w a y , " and feel good about it. Like his wife can say, " M y mother's first word is I 'd rather do it myself. ' " She represents, at least, that capacity that if you do it yourself you are perfectly okay and you can feel good about it. It wou ld be nice if he gets that from her. If there is any of that going on in the marriage, he can get it for himself.
