ABSTRACT
This chapter reviews the role of emotions in intimate relationships and offers concrete strategies for working with emotion in the context of clinical practice. Distress in couples is the natural consequence of partners relating to each other via the expression of reactive, defensive emotions. This in turn impacts upon the emotional organization of the other partner, who responds in a complimentary manner. Attachment-Based Cycles are organized around the dimension of affiliation, which have to do with concerns for greater closeness, security, availability or responsiveness. Generally speaking, attachment-based cycles take the form of one partner seeking greater closeness and the other rejecting it. Dominate-submit, define-defer, leader-follower and over-function/under-function are all cycles that represent difficulties in the dimension of identity. Those in the dominant position typically make the decisions, define reality and consider themselves as knowing what is best or right.
