ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author presents a perspective on the social organization of love that clarifies the links between love, dependency, and power. Her perspective is based on the empirical generalization that women and men prefer different styles of love that are consistent with their gender role. Women prefer emotional closeness and verbal expression; men prefer giving instrumental help and sex, forms of love that permit men to deny their dependency on women. The author argues that love is feminized in our society; that is, only women's style of love is recognized, and women are assumed to be more skilled at love and more in need of it. Her perspective clarifies how the social organization of love bolsters the power of men over women in close relationships, but she also suggests that men's power advantage in the private sphere is quite limited. It is primarily in the public sphere that feminized love promotes inequality in power.
