ABSTRACT
The authors argue in this chapter that a client’s statement—“You don’t know what I’m talking about”—mandates therapist recognition, empathy, and inquiry. It may also require therapist acknowledgment of being in a different demographic or social position than the client and perhaps even culpability in terms of not listening well enough to have understood the client’s experience. Incorporating elements of therapist disclosure—acknowledging a mistake or instance of insensitivity, focusing on the here and now of the relationship, and avoiding excuses or defensiveness may also be clinically appropriate. The authors further contend that providing an appropriate response to this statement is contingent upon multiple contextual factors, including therapist and client demographics, the nature of the therapy provided, client diagnosis, the timing and tone of the client’s statement, the extent to which this narrative had been discussed previously, and the nature of the therapeutic relationship.
