ABSTRACT
This chapter discusses that negotiating the developmental anxieties is a part of a couple or family’s normal development, but some families remain hostage to vulnerabilities that compromise normal psychological growth. It argues that these vulnerabilities reflect the complex interaction of early and later Oedipal anxieties with external factors, including abuse and transgenerational trauma. Early Oedipal anxieties and their impact on later Oedipal situations are less clearly understood, mainly because they are not mediated by language. In each of the couples/families, the more obvious Oedipal issue of a feeling of exclusion was exacerbated by earlier Oedipal difficulties. The importance of an exploration of early Oedipal difficulties is vital in understanding the complexity of more overtly Oedipal issues, like exclusion, particularly when the couple or family seems stuck in a destructive way. Couple psychotherapy helped David to acknowledge the grief of the lost father and therefore his own vulnerability, previously located in his children.
