Images and ideas associated with masculinity are forever in flux. In this book, Donald Moss addresses the never-ending effort of men—regardless of sexual orientation—to shape themselves in relation to the unstable notion of masculinity.

Part 1 looks at the lifelong labor faced by boys and men of assessing themselves in relation to an always shifting, always receding, ideal of "masculinity." In Part 2, Moss considers a series of nested issues regarding homosexuality, homophobia and psychoanalysis. Part 3 focuses on the interface between the body experienced as a private entity and the body experienced as a public entity—the body experienced as one’s own and the body subject to the judgments, regulations and punishments of the external world. The final part looks at men and violence. Men must contend with the entwined problems of regulating aggression and figuring out its proper level, aiming to avoid both excess and insufficiency. This section focuses on excessive aggression and its damaging consequences, both to its object and to its subjects.

Thirteen Ways Of Looking At A Man will be of great interest not only to psychoanalysts and psychotherapists, but also to a much wider audience of readers interested in gender studies, queer studies, and masculinity.

chapter |13 pages

Immaculate attachment vs passive yearning

Thoughts on being and becoming a man 1

chapter |9 pages

Two ways of looking back 1

chapter |20 pages

Internalized homophobia in men

Wanting in the first-person singular, hating in the first-person plural 1

chapter |15 pages

On situating homophobia 1

chapter |19 pages

Freud's “female homosexual”

One way of looking at a woman 1

chapter |11 pages

Looking at a transsexual 1

chapter |9 pages

War stories 1

chapter |5 pages