ABSTRACT

When New Labour came into office in 1997, its commitment to 'education, education, education' captured the imagination of the public. This collection of humorous articles by Ted Wragg between 1998 to 2003 exposes the real state of education during this period, when educational policy was never far from the headlines.

No one escapes Ted's sharp-shooting wit: from the 'blamers and shamers' who try to turn teacher-bashing into a national pastime to the 'pale policy wonks' in the Department of Education, who issue regular hare-brained initiatives from the mysterious 'Tony Zoffis'.

Split into seven issue-focused chapters, this hilarious collection will be a tonic for anyone finding themselves unsure whether to laugh or cry about recent developments in the world of education.

chapter |4 pages

Introduction

chapter |2 pages

Madness dressed as method

chapter |2 pages

Re-inspected to destruction

chapter |2 pages

Retiring under a hail of bullets

chapter |2 pages

Big words can mean so little

chapter |2 pages

The wizards of Swineshire

chapter |2 pages

Choose bog-standard diversity

chapter |2 pages

On the wrong Gnometrack

chapter |3 pages

New Year, new paper chase

chapter |1 pages

Tips for superheads and menials

chapter |4 pages

Tips for superheads

chapter |2 pages

Chains? Pull the other one

chapter |3 pages

Meet the merchants of morale

chapter |3 pages

Press 1 if you’ve had enough

chapter |2 pages

Tell Sid: beware of flobbabytes

chapter |3 pages

Conversations with a machine idiot

chapter |3 pages

Let poison begin with a pee

chapter |3 pages

Any more bright ideas, then?

chapter |3 pages

Now we are all virtually real

chapter |6 pages

When did Twigg’s mind snap?

chapter |3 pages

We all know who to blame

chapter |2 pages

A Plutonic truth is out there

chapter 10|2 pages

years of laughter and tears

chapter |2 pages

Digging holes in maths tests

chapter |2 pages

Busy baby has no time for hugs

chapter |3 pages

Christmas with Reg and Sid

chapter |3 pages

Switched off in their infancy

chapter |3 pages

Humane rights of the tested

chapter |6 pages

Whippet fanciers still miss out

chapter |3 pages

Council in a fix? Call Fastbuck

chapter |2 pages

Not such duffers, after all

chapter |2 pages

More madcap memorabilia

chapter |2 pages

Let your pupils do the talking

chapter |2 pages

Woodhead was my sick joke

chapter |2 pages

Only the constipated need apply

chapter |2 pages

Go on, have a shot at exam job

chapter |3 pages

Are you a flapper or a fighter?

chapter |6 pages

Lay down your prescriptions

chapter |2 pages

Stray teachers in the doghouse

chapter |2 pages

The fine art of bluffication

chapter |2 pages

Saying ‘no’ to unprotected sex

chapter |2 pages

Those chimps aren’t so clever

chapter |2 pages

Time to rat on TV’s teacher prat

chapter |3 pages

What we’ll do on our holidays

chapter |2 pages

Projects come out of the closet

chapter |2 pages

Watch with Big Brother

chapter |2 pages

All is mad in leadership and war

chapter |3 pages

Snatch squads

chapter |2 pages

On the warpath with Spiffy

chapter |2 pages

Making a meal out of lessons

chapter |2 pages

Dear Mr Head, give us £2,000

chapter |2 pages

Tips on flogging dead horses

chapter |2 pages

Leave Bill and Ben to rot in peace

chapter |2 pages

Sorry, ideas aren’t appropriate

chapter |3 pages

Adjectives blight young lives

chapter |2 pages

Enough to turn us all to drink

chapter |5 pages

A glossary for the less deceived

chapter |3 pages

Take Tony Zoffis’ bullets away

chapter I|2 pages

spy a nation run by teachers

chapter |2 pages

They think you’re great, really

chapter |3 pages

Kylie is never the right answer

chapter |2 pages

It’s flying time for crawlers

chapter |3 pages

Earn a crust by buttering up

chapter |2 pages

That’ll be the day that I DIY

chapter |2 pages

Porkie pies given to you in 2002

chapter |3 pages

Wolf loves sheep’s language

chapter |2 pages

Footnote