ABSTRACT
First published in 1989. Counselling Gems provides 'how to' think about situations, it contains 110 'gems' arranged under eight section headings and helps the practitioner to gain ideas that can be used you understand better counseling and clients. It also provides an opportunity to know how a practitioner thinks about their role and relates to basic ways of thinking of clients, their problems and self. Through a sharing approach narrative, this text also reflects counselor educator and supervisor's basics concepts, aids the implementation of these concepts and contains useful notes of students made from hundreds of comments made by Dr Carnevale during practices.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
chapter
Introduction
part Section I|23 pages
Counseling Philosophy
chapter 9|1 pages
Habits become habits because they accomplish something very well.
chapter 10|1 pages
Defense mechanisms are chosen and maintained because they work so well.
chapter 11|1 pages
No all/nothings exist except for being pregnant.
chapter 13|1 pages
Counseling is the TRUTH BUSINESS... and the truth is hard to find.
chapter 16|1 pages
People are not weak—they're just not in touch with their power.
part Section II|19 pages
Goals and Boundaries of Counseling
chapter 21|1 pages
All problems in counseling are relationship problems. Period!
chapter 22|1 pages
All relationship problems are related to either power or intimacy.
chapter 24|2 pages
Mythology—the basis of it all.
chapter 26|1 pages
The one who gives in gets even.
chapter 27|2 pages
Value-free counseling—it doesn't exist!
chapter 29|2 pages
Never let a client “IT” on you.
part Section III|9 pages
Clients' Reasons for Counseling
chapter 31|1 pages
Sense of failure...
chapter 33|1 pages
In their hearts they know they're not to blame.
part Section IV|29 pages
Counselor's Role
chapter 36|1 pages
Responsibility: Creating one's life through choices…
chapter 37|1 pages
To be intimate means to be vulnerable—from a position of strength.
chapter 38|1 pages
You must train your client to be your client.
chapter 41|1 pages
Give your clients hope. They need it.
chapter 43|1 pages
Never contribute to the delinquency of your client.
chapter 44|1 pages
You must be willing to be responsible for making the client feel bad.
chapter 45|1 pages
Clients are excellent at what they are doing wrong.
chapter 46|1 pages
Sincerity does not mean truth.
chapter 47|1 pages
You cannot not communicate.
chapter 48|2 pages
Accepting one's humanness.
chapter 49|2 pages
The superego—you will either increase it or decrease it. Take your pick!
chapter 53|1 pages
People who control their emotions may control more than they know.
chapter 55|2 pages
Do you want me to be a good counselor or a bad one?
part Section V|15 pages
Problems in counseling
chapter 56|1 pages
Problems of counseling: Some are solved, others are resolved.
chapter 57|2 pages
What they have done to others they will do to you—somehow.
chapter 59|1 pages
Misunderstanding the counselor is a great defense for the client.
chapter 60|2 pages
Too logical or too intuitive? That is the question!
chapter 61|1 pages
Clients are never “stuck” in their counseling—they are hanging on.
chapter 62|1 pages
Who's holding back—the counselor or client ?
chapter 63|2 pages
Depression: Is it anger, sadness or despair?
chapter 64|1 pages
Resentment—of whom?
part Section VI|48 pages
Techniques and Procedures
chapter 65|1 pages
There's no such thing as nothing.
chapter 67|2 pages
Client history: On my terms only!
chapter 69|1 pages
Your insight is good. Your client's developing that insight is better.
chapter 70|1 pages
Transference: When it happens, you've struck gold! Go for it!
chapter 71|2 pages
Catharsis doesn't cure anything; but it may be a step toward curing.
chapter 72|1 pages
I actually throw a “counselor switch” on and off at will.
chapter 74|2 pages
Beginning the interview.
chapter 75|2 pages
Beginning the relationship.
chapter 76|1 pages
… And You?
chapter 77|2 pages
I hate the question, “How do you feel?” or “How are you feeling?”
chapter 78|2 pages
I always have three Here/Nows from which to choose.
chapter 79|1 pages
By-Pass the client's defenses.
chapter 80|1 pages
Humor in therapy is a tricky issue.
chapter 82|2 pages
Here and Now: The great mystery.
chapter 83|2 pages
The famous “chairs,” and how to introduce them.
chapter 84|2 pages
About-ism versus now-ism.
chapter 85|2 pages
You just had a thought…
chapter 86|1 pages
And/But
chapter 87|1 pages
Find out what is, not what isn't.
chapter 89|2 pages
Listen for a refrain. It may give you a clue to their style.
chapter 92|2 pages
Confrontation does not mean aggression!
chapter 93|2 pages
Subvocalization—you can't stop it, but you must change it.
chapter 94|1 pages
Another perspective…
chapter 95|1 pages
Suicide: I always take it seriously.
part Section VII|19 pages
Do and Don't
chapter 96|2 pages
Ask broad questions about narrow subjects.
chapter 97|1 pages
A great answer to a different question.
chapter 98|1 pages
K-I-S-S. Keep It Super Simple.
chapter 100|2 pages
Body language—the least well defended.
chapter 101|1 pages
Talking “about” feelings without having feelings is seldom helpful.
chapter 102|1 pages
Counseling is not a social dialogue—don't be polite.
chapter 103|1 pages
Don't ask “why,” ask “what.”
chapter 104|2 pages
One question at a time.
chapter 105|1 pages
If you ask a question, don't you answer it.
chapter 106|1 pages
The client may be trying to entertain you—or himself/herself.
chapter 107|1 pages
Watch for the tears behind the laughter
part Section VIII|6 pages
Termination