ABSTRACT

Our Families, Our Values challenges both the gay community and American society to examine carefully the meaning of family values and the nature of social institutions such as marriage and the family. It asks you provoking, even disturbing, questions such as: “Is it prudent for members of the Lavender community to mimic heterosexual marriage or define personal relations networks as families, when these institutions are rapidly collapsing?” “Are we attempting to mainstream American society into accepting different views of marriage and families?” “Are we subscribing to notions of sexual property that are inherent to the marriage ceremony and the institution of marriage, when we choose to be married?” Despite the complexities of this issue, marriage constitutes a privileged position in western society, and, as this book shows you, without the legal recognition of same-sex marriages, there are many fundamental rights, as well as privileges, denied to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons.As Our Families, Our Values turns upside-down the widely accepted notion that only heterosexual people are entitled to get married, have sex, and rear children, you gain insight into personal struggles and affirmations that testify to the spirituality, procreativity, and wholesomeness of the diverse relationships of the Lavender community. You will also learn about various ongoing efforts to give religious pride to the various configurations of gay relationships, families, and values and the disruption of popular interpretations of the Scriptures that have been used to justify the oppression of sexual minorities. This book will intrigue you over and over again, as you read about:

  • value systems
  • transphobia
  • equal marriage rights
  • Buddhism’s rejection of “traditional family values”
  • Brazil’s sex-positive culture
  • differences between gay male social formations and families
  • choosing a language and terms that empower sexual minorities and the essence of the liberation movement
  • sex as communion
  • relationships based on nurture, not transaction

    Designed for academics and students of religion, pastors, priests, rabbis, and lay readers alike, Our Families, Our Values is a multifaceted view of the gay community’s response to the public controversy over gay marriage, adoption, and foster care rights. Ideal as a textbook for courses in sexuality, theology, sociology, women’s studies, and gay and lesbian studies, this book will both inform you and delight you as it reminds you that same-sex unions bring much cause for celebration and that religion and homosexuality are not mutually exclusive.

section I|2 pages

Challenging Procreative Privilege

chapter 1|18 pages

Queering Procreative Privilege

Coming Out as Families

chapter 3|16 pages

The Concubine and the Eunuch

Queering Up the Breeder’s Bible

chapter 4|10 pages

The Book of Ruth

An Example of Procreative Strategies for Queers

chapter 5|16 pages

Christmas, Sex, Longing, and God

Toward a Spirituality of Desire

section II|2 pages

Families of Choice

chapter 6|18 pages

The Power to Choose

We’re Here, We’re Queer, and We Want to Get Hitched

chapter 7|11 pages

Variety Is the Spice of Life

Doing It Our Ways

chapter 9|14 pages

Together on the Path

Gay Relationships in a Buddhist Context

chapter 10|8 pages

“With This Ring You Are Made Holy unto Me According to the Laws of Moses”

Celebrating and Sanctifying Lesbian and Gay Relationships and Families

chapter 11|14 pages

A Family Friend

Paul’s Letter to the Romans as a Source of Affirmation for Queers and Their Families

chapter 13|18 pages

Just a Perfect Blendship

Friendship and Sexuality

chapter 14|16 pages

Making Love for the Whole World to Feel

Four Erotic Rituals for Gay Men

chapter 15|20 pages

“Where Two or More Are Gathered”

Using Gay Communities as a Model for Christian Sexual Ethics

chapter 16|10 pages

What Will We Teach the Children?

chapter 18|8 pages

We Are Not Your Hope for the Future

Being an Interracial Lesbian Family Living in the Present

section III|2 pages

Relationships: Trials and Tribulations

chapter 19|16 pages

Spirituality and Gay Male Couples

Living in the Context of HIV/AIDS

chapter 20|18 pages

Letting Go

A View of Grief in Process (Finding My Way Back to Me)