The Everyday Lives of Gay Men draws on the expertise of 12 contributors from different countries and fields, writing from an autoethnographic first-person approach.

Putting the power of personal stories at the centre of the construction of sophisticated narratives of gay men’s lives, the accounts draw attention to the limits of traditional perspectives to gay men’s studies that look at gayness through a sexualised lens and explore how gay men make sense of their identity in their everyday lives. Together they present a complex, nuanced understanding of gayness and challenge the conception of ‘being gay’ as a sexual orientation because it describes in sexual terms an identity that is not only, not always, and not predominantly sexual. The authors come from a variety of fields, including counselling studies and sociology, to communication, religion, and education.

The innovative approach of The Everyday Lives of Gay Men makes it ideal for students and scholars in gender studies, sexuality studies, sociology, mental health, and research methods.

The Open Access version of this book, available at www.taylorfrancis.com/books/e/9780367676834, has been made available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives 4.0 license.

chapter |16 pages

What is conjured when we talk about the everyday lives of gay men?

ByEdgar Rodríguez-Dorans, Jason Holmes
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chapter 1|13 pages

17 Times a day I think about being gay

ByDavid Lowbridge-Ellis
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chapter 2|9 pages

Shower thoughts – of loss and queer love

ByRandall C. Lopez
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chapter 3|11 pages

Christmases past and present

A Phet tee saam lamb's search for their flock
ByPanu Sahassanon
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chapter 4|8 pages


An intimate self-dialogue about loneliness
ByCináed Thomas
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chapter 5|11 pages

On (not) living past 30

ByTony E. Adams
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chapter 6|10 pages

Going back to the glory hole

An (extra)ordinary story of meeting shame, doubt, and arousal in the therapy room
BySeamus Prior
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chapter 7|13 pages

Becoming (in)visible

A performative autoethnography on mental health, help-seeking, and missing connections
ByWillem J. Stander
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chapter 8|11 pages

Lack of ordinary privileges in a gay man's life

Navigating through privileged systems
ByYasin Koc
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chapter 9|10 pages

I dreamt of a stranger

ByJulian Triandafyllou
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chapter 10|10 pages

Testing proximity and intimacy

An everyday reappropriation of private and public space
ByEdgar Rodríguez-Dorans
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chapter 11|10 pages

In my Latinx gay shoes

Work, discrimination, immigration, and polyamory
ByOscar Pantoja Guzmán
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chapter 12|14 pages

Planetary times and queer times

A critical planetary romanticism for the earth
ByWhitney A. Bauman
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chapter 13|19 pages

Notes on the contributors' experiences

Insights into autoethnographic research
ByEdgar Rodríguez-Dorans, Jason Holmes
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chapter 14|7 pages


ByEdgar Rodríguez-Dorans, Jason Holmes
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