ABSTRACT
As may have become evident from much of the clinical material I have already presented, the blunder with Jane was not the only time in my practice when the therapeutic relationship looked near to collapse. It has been my experience on various critical occasions-when I have become utterly confused, have run out of interpretations, and feel at the end of my tether-to have to admit to my patient that, at this moment, I feel as helpless as they do. Although profoundly shaken, I have learnt to convey this neither as a reproach to the patient (‘You have made me feel…’), nor to myself (‘I’m dreadfully sorry but…’), but simply as a statement of how things are. Instead of going into even greater panic, most patients respond positively: ‘Thank God someone understands what it’s like to feel as hopeless as I do.’ Or simply: ‘If you can’t see a way out, it doesn’t feel so bad that I can’t.’
