ABSTRACT
Many Americans navigate an intimate world that is postmarital. It's true that marriage is still privileged as the preferred intimate arrangement by the state, and it's also the case that most Americans still want to marry, will marry, and that gaining the right to marry is at the top of the gay/lesbian agenda. Yet, marriage today is no longer compulsory; it is one relational option. Like other intimate relationships, we freely enter and exit marriage; we negotiate how to balance autonomy and solidarity; and many of us form close, sustaining relationships chiefly in order to realize intimacy. The latter concept, for the purposes of this essay, refers to an historically unique kind of emotional and social closeness featuring the depthful sharing of inner lives, negotiating the conditions and dynamics of the social bond, and aspirations to sustain a sense of personal authenticity in an emotionally thick experience of solidarity.
