ABSTRACT
I practice Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with couples, families, and individuals because it's the most fascinating and deeply moving activity I have ever discovered. Maybe that word, discover, is the key. In particular, working with couples from an attachment perspective is a constant voyage of discovery for me into what it means to be a human being. I watch and learn and often ache for my clients as they play out the drama of our deepest human emotions and needs. I watch them as they attempt to keep their balance and dance in tune with the most important people in their lives, and so often end up missing each other and falling into soul destroying isolation. In a therapy like EFT, focused on connection, the enterprise of therapy touches the therapist as well as the client. Some of my colleagues have just conducted research into the impact of EFT training on clinicians learning this model. They found that learning this model contributed significantly to personal growth, to healing and improved relationships for the trainees (Sandburg & Knestel, 2011). Trainees spoke of how meaningful the attachment framework was for understanding relationships, how amazing it was to be able to use emotion to transform relationships, and the sense of empowerment that comes from having a clear map to guide therapy. They also reported being more open and compassionate to their own feelings and with others (Montagno, Svatovic, & Levenson, 2011). This mirrors my own experience over the last 25 years as we have developed and tested EFT. As I and my colleagues, with the help of our clients, craft EFT, the practice of EFT shapes us.
