From window cleaner to potato man

What is the worst British film ever made? Snobs – and Andrew Marr ¹ – might plump for Sing As We Go (1934) and the deranging cheeriness of Gracie Fields. Connoisseurs of trash would certainly advance the case for Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956), Gonks Go Beat (1965) and Hammer’s prehistoric farrago, Slave Girls (1966); while highbrows may prefer the claims of late period Michael Winner – Dirty Weekend (1993), Parting Shots (1999) – or, if churlishly averse to sentimental kitsch, the triumphant populism of Love Actually (2003) or Mamma Mia! The Movie (2008). But surely everyone would agree that, when it comes to recent British cinema, the very worst films fall reliably into three categories. First, there are cheap horror movies such as Zombie Undead (2010); second, Mockney gangster films such as Honest (2000) and Revolver (2005), as well as anything starring Danny Dyer (Outlaw (2007), Straightheads (2007), Pimp (2010)); and, third, comprising the most debased category of all, ‘low comedies’ like Ali G Indahouse (2002), Sex Lives of the Potato Men (2004), and Fat Slags (2004). In fact, Fat Slags is currently the lowest rated British movie on IMDb, with a score of 1.7 out of 10. Ranking number 19 in the bottom 100 films ‘as voted by our users’, this is the film to beat for the absolutely worst of British. ²