ABSTRACT
This chapter discusses mutual attractions in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy that can lead to dangerously inappropriate sexual actions. The author believes the professional literature lacks in-depth, verbatim reports of what actually happens in such treatments. It is part of his credo that analysts must be honest about their feelings. The question then arises – to what degree does one allow oneself to get involved with such challenging patients? How much is too much? How far is too far? Work with his patient, Maria, came close to being too much and too far. Focusing primarily on the development of sexual and loving feelings between Maria and himself, this contribution illustrates the difference between crossing and violating a boundary as the analyst struggles with some of his own issues such as fear of abandonment and needing to be valued and admired, not only as an analyst, but also as a man. The author describes how all these unsettling feelings were used for therapeutic benefit.
