ABSTRACT
The Williams family was self-referred by the mother, Mrs. Jane Williams. The reason given for the referral was the acting-out behavior of the 17-year-old son, Ian. Ian was reported to lose his temper easily and when he did, to be “uncontrollable.” He had pulled a knife on his mother and 16-year-old sister, Dianne, ordered his sister around, demanded that she do things for him such as making him meals, and physically pushed her when she did not listen to him.
Mr. and Mrs. Williams had been separated for approximately three years but had not been able to negotiate a final termination of the marriage. Mr. Williams refused to have anything to do with his wife, and therefore had refused to become involved in the therapy. The relationship between the parents was vituperative. Mrs. Williams had taken Mr. Williams to court twice for failing to make his required child support payments. As a consequence, Mr. Williams was jailed on one occasion. The custody arrangement was that the children spend every second weekend with their father. The children both reported that they enjoyed these visits.
Mrs. Williams believed that parents “should be best friends with their children.” She described her relationship with Dianne as good, but not her relationship with Ian. In spite of her report of a close relationship with Dianne, Mrs. Williams said that her children would not listen to her when she asked them to do something. Ian was worse than Dianne in this regard. The children appeared to listen to Mr. Williams out of fear. Mrs. Williams refused to “intimidate” the children in the same way. 98She was reluctant to use punishment to force them to obey. She would like them to obey her because they loved her and cared for her. She stated, “Ian is like his father. He doesn't listen to me. He ignores me and is rude to me. He often mocks me. Everyone takes advantage of me because I'm such a nice person.” She insisted that the problem was Ian's and that he needed individual therapy to solve his acting-out problem.
