Perhaps unusually, my father was the emotional one, and my mother the cool, contained one. I experienced him as manipulative and emotionally blackmailing and guilt-inducing. So in my adolescence I resolved to be different from him, and to be straightforward emotionally. At 16 I adopted the phrase ‘education of the emotions’, by which I meant having only those emotions which were convenient. The word ‘love’ in particular became very suspect, because of its associations with my father.