I wait for the ‘best’ moment.Yes, I say to myself, there will come a moment when I will be able to gather my forces, have a vision of the Whole, and from this place and this time will emerge The Act. Every day I wait. I try to egg it on with cigarettes and coffee, or by not smoking and not drinking coffee. I’m waiting for my freedom, waiting for all the conditions to come together that will make possible what I want to do. Time passes. A lot of time passes. I’m waiting for it to stop, for it to gather itself into an image, of myself, of my life, of the world. I’m waiting for the movement to stop and reflect itself back to itself – reflection is the condition of action, isn’t it? But it turns its face away, dissolves into a hundred tiny details on a cruelly indifferent time-line, dissolves me into a hundred tiny details, pure moving mass. It is true that in trying all of these different postures, I might just crack the code, it might all ‘come together’. But it is undeniable that this moment will not have been one of discovery but of invention.