ABSTRACT
Allow me to begin my concluding commentary on the chapters contained in this book with a clinical illustration. Clinical vignette: 1
Lindsey’s mother shared that she was at the end of her rope:
I have no idea what to do with my daughter. She’s always rubbing her teachers and the other children the wrong way and getting herself into all kinds of trouble at school. She is getting sent to the principal’s office on a regular basis. She says things that are mean and hurtful and get her into trouble. We are all losing patience with her. Do you think you can help us?
I began to work with Lindsey and her parents in the hope that I could be of some help. Lindsey was young, and much of the work began in play. I was cast in the role of the student who was dumb, stupid, ugly, and unwanted. Lindsey, as my teacher or caretaker, said very hurtful and cruel things to me and about me. Lindsey continued to have struggles at school for many months.One day, Lindsey’s mom shared that things were now going much better at school and there had been no reported difficulties with her teacher or fellow students over several weeks. When I next saw Lindsey, I let her know what her mom shared and asked if she could help me understand how that had happened. Without missing a beat, Lindsey looked me in the eye and had a very big grin on her face and said:
If I keep everything I am thinking about my stupid teacher in here (she took a finger and drew it across her forehead as she said this) and don’t let it 200come out here (she now pointed to her mouth) I don’t get into trouble. I just smile at Mrs. Smith while she is blabbing on, but in my mind, I am thinking about all the mean things I want to say and do to her!
Lindsey seemed to have figured out she had a private space in her own mind to think, speak, and play to manage her world. She discovered privacy. Lindsey obtained a freedom when she understood she had a right to her own private thoughts and therefore could manage what to share and who to share with.