ABSTRACT
Eleven years ago a routine screening revealed a small tumor in the author’s pancreas. Whipple surgery caused a significant interruption in her practice and left her weakened, sick, and very thin for an extended period of time though it produced a complete cure. The tumor was a pre-cancer that was verging on becoming cancer. The author discusses her experience, her patients’ reactions, her reflections on how she handled the experience, and her recommendations based on what she learned. In particular she explores the impact of her fear on her role as a psychoanalyst. She relates these reflections to two experiences she subsequently had with her own analyst’s serious illnesses, surgery, and treatment and his handling of those events.
