ABSTRACT
Autism can certainly have an impact on a marriage; as therapists, we need to understand that sometimes the person with autism is the spouse or partner. Marilyn J. Monteiro succinctly outlines maladaptive patterns that can have an impact on mood and a marriage. She notes that, despite high prevalence rates, therapists are often reluctant to consider the presence of autism in a verbally fluent adult. Indeed, when partners are neurodevelopmentally different, it can significantly impact their marriage.
Monteiro makes a case for improving outcomes by changing our word choices, moving away from a model steeped in pathology to a model of brain differences and brain style. She illustrates the impact of language change by highlighting four key emotional shifts that can occur: changing emotional reactivity to curiosity, appreciating complementary styles and perspective taking, changing negative labeling to neurodiversity/strengths-driven understanding, and solidifying mutual understanding and support. Marriage therapists will want to read this impactful chapter.
