ABSTRACT
The author discusses her experiences; her story is the story of millions (yes, millions) of people because the unfortunate truth is when a person is a survivor of sexual assault. And yet, it is gargantuan. After her first time, for her sex was inherently damaging and she had already given something away that was going to alter her forever then hell, she felt she may as well have some fun with it. Gender Studies was a revelation to her; she was able to intellectualize an anger that she had never learned to articulate. She was able to intellectualize pain. She talks about the night of her accident after which she felt like a slut and because she was damaged; the girl who was literally left lying like garbage in the street. Four years of gender studies courses did not trump over twenty years of social indoctrination of sexual tropes, and her story did not have an ending yet.
