ABSTRACT
The author says that every time a man smiles and laughs at his joke, it feels new. When his mind wanders, it is often to thoughts of gratitude for his life, kids, and friends. For the first 47 years of his life, people could assume that he was male. He liked his long hair, necklaces and rings, and loved when girls would gush over his long lashes. He felt drawn towards a male, but was attracted to his girlfriend. He dealt with confusion and self-loathing continued into middle age. He married a woman, had kids, divorced, remarried, and put on a good show of masculinity and self-confidence. A misconception that many people seem to have about transition is that it is a sudden life event. After therapy, strangers mistook him for a woman; the changes strained his marriage. He says he still has a lot to figure out, and a lot of insecurities to deal with.
