The absence of men’s voices surrounding men’s experiences of involuntary childlessness was the inspiration for my auto/biographical PhD study. I found undertaking the research involved a great deal of emotional effort, and the call of my working-class roots and feelings of unworthiness were constant companions. Qualitative researchers sometimes describe themselves as a ‘bricoleur’ (a makeshift artisan) in order to convey the eclectic nature of their research. I adapt that description and view myself as a ‘bateleur’: an acrobat, buffoon, juggler, tightrope walker, and tumbler. In my native Mancunian ‘bateleur’ is pronounced ‘battler’: reflecting my struggle through the highs and lows I experienced during my PhD.