A Simple Tale

(Addressed to the most expert of Jugglers,) in the form of ODE SECOND A JUGGLER, at a Village Fair, Set up a Scaffold, broad and high, To make the gaping bumpkins stare At his dexterity! While he, his wily tricks displays 5 With many a stale and pompous phrase, Of ‘There’s a wonder, there’s a sight! ‘Such art before was never seen! ‘Fit for a King, fit for a Queen!’ While the whole audience roar’d, and laugh’d with all their might! 10 In the black art So well he play’d his part, First he to gold would turn a pig* of lead!² To prove the trial each among the throng Presents his silly head, 15 And makes a neck so wond’rous long That you’d have sworn they were a flock of geese; While the shrewd conjurer prov’d the golden fleece, Now hanging o’er them glitt’ring to their eyes, While the loud drum and trumpet echo’d to the skies! 20 Next his persuasive powers to prove, He made an egg-shell nimbly move, Calling the empty space An emblem of the human race, Most fair to look on, and most hollow too, 25 The louts who watch’d The Juggler thought it true; While ev’ry cunning word he spoke, Was mask’d beneath a subtle joke, Jokes that betray’d his hearers’ want of sense, Yet oft en made – because, at their expense. 30 One lent his store of current gold A magic sieve to hold, (’Twas but a loan As shall be shown,) With promise that, to pay his trouble, 35 He should have current guineas – double! 350Another handed (to be brief) A silver watch, in firm belief That he the outside should behold Of solid gold! 40 A third his hat bestow'd and, bare, Stood like his fellow fools, to stare; Each shoe, of buckle robb'd, appears With dangling straps, like asses' ears! In short, the simple crowd, we’re told, 45 Ere the shrewd Juggler wou’d begin, (Stripp’d nearly to the skin) One garment only kept, to shield them from the cold: And all the while wou’d you believe? The Trickster chuckled in his sleeve! 50 Now he paces round and round, With solemn step, and thought profound! Now musing with an ell of chin; And now with perk’d up nose, and monkey’s grin; ‘Now blind your eyes,’ 55 The Conjurer cries; (And straight a handkerchief was bound Each leaden pate around; – ) Then to each gaping lout presents a gag, A strange conceit! but ’twas a subtle wag! 60 ‘Wear this to-night,’ says he, ‘to-morrow’s sun, ‘Shall rise to witness glorious fun! ‘All shall be rich, and all be gay, ‘Each pledge that I receive to-day, ‘(Doubled ten-fold) 65 ‘Shall be transform’d to sterling, solid gold!’ The rustics murmur’d; – some (’tis said) Swore they wou’d break the Juggler’s head – While he, by Conjuration strong, Threaten’d to hang, transport, imprison 70 Each growling knave, whose daring Reason Against his magic Highness wagg’d the tongue! They scaled the Stage in wild despair; When, lo! the loft y Scaffold fell! Loud shrieks of terror fill’d the air, 75 The boors were scatter’d all around; (But, strange to tell,) The Juggler no where could be found! Each lubberkin retir’d to mourn his fate, To feel his hapless lot, and curse his empty pate! 80 351‘This is not new, nor strange,’ you’ll say, ‘I see it practis’d every day; ‘And still, unwary fools I find ‘To wonder! like your witless kind. ‘Wear but my Gags, and trust my better wit, 85 ‘I’ll make you all amends – when I think fit.’ Yes, Master, if you’ll make the story true, Vanish, content with what from us you’ve taken, While we look out for prospects bright and new, And leave your Pigs of lead – to save our Bacon!³ 90 ABITHA BRAMBLE