ABSTRACT
This chapter introduces the theoretical underpinnings of the Adopting Together Service, and describes the clinical work and experiences gathered from this specialist service for adoptive couples. It explores how the difference between parents in how they deal with complexities such as loss can create conflict. Adopting Together, a government funded service, was developed as a response to the need for parental support, and is recognition that parents often require help, not just with the relationship with their adopted child but also with their couple relationship. The adopted child enters into their new family from often disturbed and traumatised backgrounds, and in addition will often carry with them a sense of unconscious guilt for the poor parenting they received in their birth families. Adoptive parents do not usually have either the wish or opportunity to open up about one of the most painful areas of their lives.
