ABSTRACT
One thing in common between living with someone and being in analysis is the problem of sharing thoughts and sharing space. There are many times in analysis when patient and analyst have problems sharing ideas, but there are also times when there is a real problem about sharing the consulting-room. The great sixteenth-century French essayist Montaigne built himself a separate tower adjoining the chateau that he shared with his wife. In this tower his study was the top room of the tower, and it could only be reached from below. It is this difficult work that needs to be done by the analyst. Otherwise, the analyst either succumbs and falls into a passive acceptance of the patient's psychic reality, or tries to impose his or her own. When there is a desire for understanding coupled with a dread of misunderstanding, there is an insistent, desperate need for agreement in the analysis and annihilation of disagreement.
