ABSTRACT
In this chapter the author explores the role of secrets and the different effects of secrets revealed with two of her patients: Stella, and Anthony, both of whom live double lives. Darkness for twenty-year-old Stella is cloaked in a layered secret life, whether it be the secrecy of her bulimia at home and in school growing up, or now in her young adult life. For Stella, secrets are an expression of anti-compliance. When Stella was able to express all that was within her, especially the more self-destructive, "disgusting" parts of herself, the process between the author and Stella started to feel very different. Anthony was having a clandestine taboo love affair filled with anticipation fueling excitement, intimacy enveloped in secrecy, and the experience of guilt and remorse when it was over. Anthony's response felt pretty genuine and selfless, but that speaks to the heart of his problem.
