ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author focuses on personal approach to relational psychotherapy and demonstrates various ways to understand meaningful attachment relationships in a wider context. Most of psychotherapists' clients have some form of traumatic experience, where their early relationships were either avoidant, ambivalent, or disruptive and unpredictable. Claire’s attachment history revealed no physical or sexual trauma. As humans we exist with a rich tapestry of relational patterns, in which each individual is unique. Their environment did not provide them with the secure and safe holding they needed. Before building the therapeutic alliance, the first and foremost aspect of human relatedness is to feel safe. Safety is psychotherapists' primal need. It is the backbone of a trusting relationship. Lack of safe touch to the body during the formative period of life is one of the primary causes of violent behaviour in adults. Safe touch from a caregiver is meant to be soothing and help regulate feelings rather than arouse them.
