ABSTRACT
This chapter is written for parents, and the author states that, of all the chapters, this was the hardest to write—perhaps because it considers the potentially devastating impact of adoption on parents, their friendships, their couple relationships, their careers, interests, and most aspects of their lives. Adopters whom the author has encountered in her work have explained that they were unprepared for, or misinformed about, what they would face as adoptive parents. Many had already experienced the loss of not being able to have a biological child, but once they became parents, they found that they were having to deal with additional losses, brought into their homes by their adopted children. Roy emphasizes their need for a “life-line” during these tough times. She interviews parents who are able to reflect on the importance of having a dedicated professional to accompany and support them on their journey. These professionals can become part of the family’s history. As one parent explained: “It’s like we share a history—our history is yours too, you as professionals share in the parenting of our children in some ways, because you hold us and then we feel more able to hold our children, even when it is very hard to keep hold of them.”
