ABSTRACT
Gay men fat-shame one another and are unhappy with their own bodies, more so than straight men. Fat-shaming is even harder on big gay men who encounter anti-fat bias as they feel the pressure of the ideal gay body, for example, on gay dating apps where gay men can feel intimidated as they discuss, compare, and quantify bodies. Therefore, a strong correlation exists between promoting body ideals within the mainstream gay male community and inculcating a sense of body shame for those who strive to belong. In reaction, Girth & Mirth developed as an organized network of social groups for big gay men and their admirers. This group promotes size acceptance and is suspicious of weight-loss surgery or other body modifications to cope with the gay-thinness imperative or the incessant drive for muscularity. Likewise, a vibrant subculture of hirsute big gay men, the Bears, is kinder to those who are full-figured and/or getting on in years. Such groups provide alternative, positive representations of fatness present in both actual and virtual environments. Thus, the fat-gay male body is both a site of shame, and of stigma resistance. It is also important to consider big men’s media, often censored by mainstream gays, which includes Bulk Male magazine, Bears addressing body-image concerns through digital art communities, and the Chubby Guy Swag blogging community founded in response to the lack of body-positive “fatshion” for plus-size males. Fat gay men are poignant reminders of the stigma of “effeminacy” that haunts queer men. While Bears seek to recuperate regular-guy masculinity, Girth & Mirthers give room for gender maneuvering, license for creatively deconstructing masculinity through campy performances of fat-gay sexuality, and space where members do not have to put on the “butch” act. Yet another response to fat-gay stigma is drag, which entertains gender identification between gay men (overdetermined as womanish) and fat women, and embraces the combined wisdom of their overlapping subjectivities. Future research should explore 1) groups for same-gender-loving big men of color, 2) big gay men beyond Western boundaries in East- and 3) South Asia, and finally, the 4) special risks for those multiply marginalized as both fat and as gay, which may affect one’s psyche and restrict self- and sexual-exploration.
