Why Celestina? Why and how has so much cultural capital accrued around the figure of a puta vieja? Why has Fernando de Rojas’ act of pornography (writing about prostitutes) taken such a place of precedence in Spanish Studies? Knowing Celestina intimately makes us, as Hispanists, experts entrusted with handing down knowledge to the next generation, knowledge that features knowing Celestina inside and out. This chapter will explore the relationships between prostitution and canonicity, between representations of the commoditized body and literary, cultural capital.