ABSTRACT
This paper questions the idea that within families love should always be unconditional and raises the issue of family estrangement in the context of psychotherapy. It will look at whether there has been a generational shift towards individualism and consider how this affects the notion of love. Does the author respond to her clients from a belief that love should be unconditional or from a vicarious wish to be free from her own difficult family members? Is the therapeutic space available for the taboo of unconditional family love to be fully explored? The author will explore her experience as a psychological therapist working with people estranged from family in order to examine her own biases.Family relationships, as well as romantic relationships, are impacted by the culture we live in, and therapeutic relationships are affected by the therapist's unconscious and conscious biases. In response to the question posed the author concludes that love between adults is always conditional even if this is a truth we cannot fully accept. Although conditions on love may be seen as healthy in a romantic relationship, the bonds between family members are generally held up as sacrosanct and unbreakable. This makes the choice to walk away from family difficult for wider society, therapists and estranged individuals to bear.
