ABSTRACT
Post-romanticism can be viewed as an historical construct that can be applied to singular experiences as well as broad understandings of change in couple and family relationships. This commentary focuses on the former approach, building on the six papers in this special issue. Four interconnected themes are explored: the relationship between falling in love and partner choice; the pull of narcissism and push of relating present in every developing love relationship; the experience of loss involved in surrendering illusion; and an exploration of what love in the consulting room might look like. The broad conclusion arrived at is that stable and satisfying relationships are post-romantic in the sense that they have in common the capacity to engage with and develop from the many minor deaths associated with enduring love. This provides a definition of the task therapists are often asked to assist with by those seeking help for troubled relationships.
