ABSTRACT
There are many entry points in the study of the human response to significant deaths. This chapter makes the case that the continuing bonds between the living and the dead offer a useful perspective from which to do the cultural, existential, and phenomenological study of grief. The chapter will look first at grief as a shared experience among bereaved parents in a self-help group. Their practical solutions to problems are really existential stances, that is, ways of being-in-the-world. They share and validate their continuing bonds with their children. They say that others can help by “being there”. Second, the chapter looks at traditional Japanese ancestor bonds. These are analyzed as an elaborate set of rituals, supported by a sophisticated theory, by which those who are living maintain personal, emotional bonds with those who have died. Beyond individual bonds, the rituals undergird the larger family and community that cannot be separated by death. Finally, the chapter looks at the themes found in a broad sampling of academic and clinical work since the term continuing bonds was introduced in 1996. Continuing bonds (1) are intersubjective, between the bereaved and the deceased, as well as within the social network affected by the death, (2) play a central role in meaning making, (3) raise questions about the truth and reality status of our interactions with the dead, and (4) are best understood within their cultural setting and are especially useful in understanding grief as cultures change.
