ABSTRACT
When I was invited to write a chapter for this book, I knew that I had to respond. I am not a writer and have never done anything like this before in my life. I thought about it for a very long time before making a start and the more I thought, the harder it became to put pen to paper. I had no difficulty in putting the early part of my life together. I recall my childhood experiences with alarming clarity. It was only as I moved on that it became harder and harder. What I mean is that I'd pushed aside the very painful memories of my life in children's homes and I found myself becoming very angry when I had to revive them. I'd buried these memories for so long that I didn't want to dig them up and confront them. And yet I was driven by the urge to continue because I have a duty to expose what happened to me and the hundreds or even thousands of children who, like me, were abused while in the care of State child welfare authorities. I seek no payment for my contribution to this book nor do I want compensation. Money cannot bring back my lost childhood. Nothing could compensate for the hugs, the reassurances, the approval, the genuine warmth of affection that children need and I never had. Nothing could ever compensate for the unnatural things that I, and others like me, had to endure while under the control of the so-called 'child care' authorities. No fistful of dollars could undo the damage to my life and put it back together again. All that I need is for the New South Wales Government to 63acknowledge that, yes, this really happened to children in their care and, yes, they were responsible for our safety and well being. And I need to know that, although this happened a long time ago, someone is sorry that it happened and those responsible for child welfare are taking much greater precautions to ensure that it does not happen again.
