ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author gives readers a glimpse into contemplations of estrangement, what precipitates the decision to estrange, and the precarious path toward acceptance and/or reconciliation. She details the push and pull of finding a way forward in a relationship that feels one-sided and in which her relational boundaries have been ignored or violated. As an adult-child, the author continues to grapple with feeling a desire, maybe even need, to feel loved, valued, respected, cherished by her mother; a mother who left when the author was 14 and then signed away her parental rights when the author was 15. Taking into account social norms and roles of “good” or ideal mothers and “good” or perfect daughters, the author interrogates how she’s operated under the assumption that she could earn her mother’s love through striving to be a better daughter. She ends the chapter proposing that she works to not only release her mother of impossible expectations, but to find a way to release herself from expectations as well.
