ABSTRACT
This chapter explores the experiences of women who have been reared in nuclear families but through marriage have lived in joint families. The challenge to the approved marriage system is evident every time the couple appear in public since a non-Asian cannot ‘pass’ as an Asian. Amongst middle-class families, foreign wives rarely face direct rejection, but the husband’s family may nevertheless signal disapproval or disappointment in indirect ways. Several informants reported that their mothers-in-law would comment disparagingly on other mixed marriages where men were to be pitied, partly on account of the assumed inability of foreign wives to cook ‘proper home food’. Rituals surrounding the preparation and eating of food are important in all cultures, but they are of immense significance in India. Castes are partly defined by the type of food eaten and the offering of food is a crucial component of deity worship.
