ABSTRACT
In this chapter, I propose an examination of the bonds and boundaries of reflexivity in order to assess broader issues of location and inequality within knowledge production. To do so, I draw from Black Feminist, decolonial, and postcolonial theories juxtaposing these theoretical frames against my own fieldwork experience as an Afro-Brazilian researcher in Europe, analysing what I am calling ‘the observers dilemma’. It consists of a conceptual comparison between Edward Said’s notion of the ‘silent observer’ (1989) with insights from what Cuban anthropologist Ruth Behar coined as ‘vulnerable observing’ (1996). Critically reading both forms of observing, I intend to unpack some of the problems of academic research and knowledge production, where colonial legacies of exploitation and location are seldom accounted for. Subsequently, I shall reflect upon the difficulties I had in assuming the more traditional role of a detached researcher and critically assess why that happened. Second, I analyse how instead of becoming detached I invested in an embodied feminist ethics and practice that deeply consider the impossibilities of neutral and value-free research. Through my conflicting positionality on the shorelines, I propose that autoethnography can be a productive method not only for those trained in the humanities or social sciences but for anyone invested in responsibly producing knowledge in and outside academia. I conclude that one way this can be done is by intentionally and vulnerably situating who writes, thus making the power structures that assist or hinder one’s path more visible, and, hopefully, more addressable.
