ABSTRACT
While Simone de Beauvoir is an obvious touchstone for feminist theory, including feminist critiques of marriage, her work has not been a frequent point of reference in discourse on non-monogamy. I argue that Beauvoir’s approach to love exemplifies an existential commitment to non-monogamy that is worth taking seriously. For Beauvoir, loving more than one person at a time is possible and often desirable. Committing to another means inventing a fidelity to them that is distinct from intimate exclusivity. This fidelity, on Beauvoir’s view, is dyadic in nature, even when one has ongoing relationships with multiple partners. I aim to show that the conceptual framework she presents in her theoretical writings, diaries, and memoirs offers a coherent philosophy of non-monogamous love—although she did not always live up to this framework herself. In this chapter, I draw out the key features of Beauvoir’s philosophy of non-monogamous love. After drawing attention to Beauvoir’s early reflections on non-monogamy in her student diaries, I turn to her critique of marriage. I note that this critique extends to most monogamous relationships, but that Beauvoir still leaves room for the possibility of authentic monogamous love. I then turn to her own view of love, where love is an act of valuing that fosters reciprocal recognition of ambiguity. I show that Beauvoir treats love as a dyadic bond, while avowing that one may have multiple dyadic relationships at a time. I address her approach to intimacy, hierarchical polyamory, and her own complicated relationship with the value of honesty in love.
