ABSTRACT
Psychoanalytically trained therapists aim to keep personal material out of the frame so that the client can hear themselves, perhaps for the first time. Of course, this can never be achieved in full, so what is it that might or might not slip through the cracks of the unconscious and into the therapeutic space? To explore this question, Craig begins by looking back on her own family, one that was at times over-stretched and emotionally under-resourced in a way that was both particular and yet not untypical of its time and place. She uses this as a starting point to think more broadly about the impact such an environment can have on a child’s developing self, including the enduring, and often deleterious, effects of the unconscious assumption that there is ‘not enough’ for them. A clinical vignette from her school-based psychotherapy practice adds further layers of insight to her exploration. This chapter is not a critique of large families nor of a parents’ care: a child with many siblings can flourish just as only one might experience their parents’ lack of emotional availability or attunement. Nor is ‘One of Many’ placing the emphasis on a shortage of love: a parent can love their children but may struggle with emotional availability or with the legacy of not having had sufficiently good enough experiences of being parented themselves. Craig emphasises that there are as many truths as there are individuals and the pictures constructed in mind are not always an accurate representation of what has gone in formative years.
